Havellarian

Perjalanan ke Jakarta seminggu yang lalu dari rumah, di Jateng membekaskan satu pengalaman yang cukup mengharukan dan juga memprihatinkan. Masih terbayang wajah teman-temanku di sana, di tepi jalan dengan kantong yang terbuat dari kelambu mengarahkan ke kendaraan-kendaraan yang lewat, meminta sumbangan sekedarnya. Koin demi koin terkumpul dengan beberapa lembaran uang seribuan, mereka senang melakukan itu. “Agar masjid di desa kita yang dipugar cepat selesai” Kata mereka. Ya..memang masjid kami masih dalam tahap penyelesaian. Atapnya saja belum tersentuh genteng dan kayu penopangnya. Terharu rasanya teman-teman dengan sukarela menyumbangkan tenaganya. Namun sayang saya tak dapat berbuat banyak untuk masjid tercinta kami itu. Aku hanya dapat membantu doa saja, semoga tahun depan masjid itu sudah berdiri megah. Ya…megah..semegah semangat warga desa kami yang bahu membahu membangunnya.

Dari Lebak bulus perjalananku hari itu berlanjut ke arah Mampang, naik Kopaja 20. Pengamen silih berganti memasuki dan mengisi keramaian bus dengan suara-suara musik yang mereka lantunkan. Di Buncit, di depan Kramayuda, bis melaju lambat, seperti jalanan Jakarta pada umumnya, di sinipun aku terjebak macet. Suasana tidak menyenangkan memenuhi diriku, panas dan terasa lama. Para pengamen nampak mengantri di tepi jalan, namun kali ini, seorang pengumpul dana pembangunan masjid yang singgah di bis yang aku tumpangi. Masjid Ar-Rahman, desa Sukmajaya, ya..itu nama masjid yang akan dibangun dengan dana sumbangan itu. Aku lihat tulisan ini dilembaran kertas yang dibagikan oleh seorang bapak dengan pakaian gamis, santun dia berucap. Shalawat dan salam pada Nabi dan doa ia lantunkan, mengharapTuhan membuka hati para penumpang bis untuk menyisihkan sebagian kecil harta mereka.

Sampai di kos, kabar tidak mengenakkan terlihat di koran yang aku baca. Beberapa masjid dirusak sekelompok orang. Gara-garanya, masjid itu milik salah satu firqah Islam yang dinyatakan sesat. Masjid-masjid itu lumayan rusak parah. Sayapun jadi heran..ada orang Islam merusak tempat ibadah mereka…? (Ini asumsi saya). Bisa saja mereka yang melakukan itu dengan sukarela ingin merubuhkan “rumah” Allah, atau juga karena terprovokasi. Tapi yang jelas tempat ibadah itu telah rusak…dan mungkin nantinya tak ada yang mau menggunakannnya lagi karena takut ada penyerangan yang bisa saja datang tiba-tiba. Sangat disayangkan memang. Masjid yang sudah berdiri kokoh itu harus dilibas begitu saja.

Rasa iri terkadang muncul di perasaan saya ketika melihat kelompok minor yang masjidnya di rusak itu dapat membangun masjid tanpa harus meminta sumbangan di pinggir jalan atau di bis-bis. Sedangkan kami…? Harus menunggu bertahun-tahun, karena dana yang terbatas, untuk melihat masjid yang kami bangun berdiri megah. Dan semoga setelah masjid kami itu berdiri megah, tidak ada orang yang membabi buta menyerangnya. Kami susah payah membangunnya bung, dan akan kami bela tempat itu mati-matian!

Kapan “rumah-rumah” Allah di negeri ini berdiri dengan tenang? Semoga segera.

Bersyukurlah karena Tuhan mengirimkan seorang nabi sempurna yang telah menyemai benih salah satu peradaban besar dunia. Dan berbahagialah karena Tuhan telah menghiasi peradaban itu dengan keindahan dan keberisian cita makna. Islam datang dengan sesuatu yang lain, sesuatu yang maha indah yang hanya dapat dicapai dengan pengalaman pribadi yang tiada sempurna mampu dilukis kata. Jangan pernah katakan agama yang dibawa Sang Cahaya Ilahi ini miskin rasa dan makna. Di sinilah kau lihat dan akan kau temukan apa yang selalu kau sangsikan keberadaanya. Sebuah penerimaan baru yang belum pernah kau rasa. Mari! Kau yang selalu dihinggapi rindu dan cinta, bersamalah kami menyelami kesejukan samudera yang maha dalam ini. Di sinilah rindu dan cintamu akan terpuaskan.

Farriduddin Abu Hamid Muhammad bin Ibrahim lebih dikenal dengan nama Attar, si penyebar wangi. Meskipun sedikit yang diketahui dengan pasti tentang hidupnya, namun agaknya dapat dikatakan bahwa ia dilahirkan sekitar tahun 506 H/1119 dekat Nisyapur di Persia Barat-Laut (tempat kelahiran Umar Khayyam) dan meninggal sekitar tahun 607 H/1220 di Syaikhuhah.

Farriduddin ‘Attar pada mulanya hanyalah seorang pemilik sebuah kedai minyak wangi sebelum ia menjalani kehidupan tasawufnya. Dikisahkan bahwa kedainya kedatangan seorang Darwis berpakaian jubah wool. Darwis itu menangis ketika menghirup wewangian minyak wangi di kedai ‘Attar. Karena menganggap Darwis ini hendak meminta belas, ‘Attar-pun menyuruh sang Darwis pergi. Tetapi sang Darwis tidak mau pergi dan berkata pada ‘Attar; “Tidak ada yang dapat menghalang saya dari meninggalkan kedaimu ini, dan mengucapkan selamat tinggal kepada dunia yang bobrok ini. Apa yang ada padaku hanyalah jubah bulu domba yang lusuh ini, tetapi aku justru kasihan kepadamu, bagaimanakah kau dapat mengubah pandangan kau kepada persoalan maut dan meninggalkan harta benda dunia ini?” Dan setelah berkata demikian sang Darwis meninggal di kedai ‘Attar.

Peristiwa inilah yang disinyalir membawa perubahan pada diri ‘Attar. Sejak saat itu ia mulai berkelana mencari guru-guru sufi untuk menemukan hakikat hidupnya. Meskipun jarang disebutkan tentang pengalamannya ketika berkelana, namun menurut hemat penulis ‘Attar telah berhasil mengalami pengalaman mistik dan menemukan jati dirinya. Dan dalam Mantiq al-Tayr (Persidangan atau Musyawarah Burung) inilah ia memanifestasikan pengalaman yang pernah ia jalani agar lebih mudah dipahami.

Mantiq al-Tayr sendiri berkisah tentang perjalanan sekawanan burung untuk mencari raja mereka yang disebut sebagai Simurgh di Puncak Gunung Kaf yang agung itu. Dalam perjalanan itu, para burung yang dipimpin oleh Hud-hud harus melalui tujuh jalan yang melambangkan tingkatan-tingakatan keruhanian.

Pertama, jalan pencarian (talab). Di jalan inilah seorang pencari mulai menjalani kehidupan spiritualnya. Barbagai macam godaan duniawi harus dapat ia takhlukkan untuk dapat mencapai jalan berikutnya. Pada tahapan ini pengupayaan pembersihan diri harus diupayakan sesempurna mungkin. Para pencari diharuskan berjuang dengan gigih untuk mendapatkan cahaya ilahi yang didambanya dengan menghilangkan hasrat-hasrat duniawinya. Hasrat duniawi ini jangan diartikan dengan meninggalkan dunia sepenuhnya. Menurut Dr. Abdul Hadi W.M. hasrat duniawi yang harus ditinggalkan para pencari adalah hasrat dengan ciri-ciri hedonis, yang melihat kesenangan duniawi sebagai segala-galanya

Kedua, jalan cinta. Di tahapan ini sang pencari harus menemukan cinta sejati dalam dirinya untuk dapat menghalau tangan hitam akal yang menutupi ketajaman mata batin. Hanya dengan mata batinlah para pencari kebenaran ini dapat melihat realita apa adanya. Mata hati tidak dapat dibohongi. Dalam kecintaanya, seorang pencari haruslah memiliki kesudian untuk mengorbankan apa-apa darinya demi yang diharapkannya—yang dicintanya. Keikhlasan dalam berkurban menunjukkan seberapa besar cintanya pada kekasihnya. Demikianlah jalan kedua merupakan jalan pengujian akan cinta seorang pencari cinta, atas nama cinta. Dengan mata batin manusia akan menemukan sesuatu berdasarkan hakekatnya, bukan hanya dari segi fisik belaka.

Berkenaan dengan ini saya menjadi teringat akan kisah Yusuf dan Zulaikha yang disebutkan di dalam al-Qur’an. Kisah percintaan sejati yang mengabaikan keindahan fisik demi satu keindahan ruhani. Diceritakan bahwa ketika Zulaikha masih muda dan berstatus istri wazir Mesir, ia jatuh hati pada Yusuf bin Ya’qub anak angkat suaminya. Di masa mudanya, secara fisik Zulaikha adalah wanita yang benar-benar cantik, paling tidak di kawasan Mesir saat itu. Demi melihat ketampanan Yusuf, jatuh cintalah ia pada pemuda ini. Zulaikha akhirnya mengutarakan juga hasratnya itu pada Yusuf. Namun, ada sesuatu yang membuat Yusuf merasa tidak tertarik dengan Zulaikha. Selain wanita ini masih bersuami, menurut Yusuf ia bukan kriteria wanita yang diidamkannya, karena kelakuannya. Bagi Yusuf kecantikan bukan soal fisik semata. Kecantikan terpancar karena dalam tubuh memancar kecantikan jiwa pemiliknya, wanita seperti inilah yang diharapkan putra Ya’qub ini sebagai pendampingnya.

Namun, setelah beberapa tahun dan ketika usia Zulaikha sudah menua, Yusuf berbalik menjadi begitu mencintai wanita yang dulu pernah ditolaknya. Hal ini karena Zulaikha telah merubah sikap dan kelakuannya. Wanita ini telah menjadi seorang yang taat beribadah, dan berbudi pekerti luhur. Zulaikha telah mengorbankan segalanya demi Yusuf dan pada akhirnya Yusuf-pun tidak memperdulikan kondisi fisik Zulaikha yang telah menua, mereka tetap saling mencintai dengan cahaya kerupawanan ruhani masing-masing.

Cerita di dalam al-Qur’an ini tentu memberi pesan kepada kita bahwa seseorang itu tidak dapat dinilai dari segi fisiknya saja. Kadang ada orang yang dari segi fisik tidak begitu menarik, tetapi memiliki kerupawanan ruhani. Demikian pula dengan orang yang memiliki keelokkan fisik belum tentu memiliki kerupawanan ruhani.

Ketiga, jalan kearifan. Seorang pencari setelah mata hatinya terbuka dan dapat melihat jelas realita ciptaannya, maka otomatis kearifan akan menyertai kehidupannya. Jalan makrifat dapat dilalui dengan cara tata cara ibadah yang khusuk, dan latihan-latihan penempaan diri dalam. Tentu setelah melalui jalan cinta. Tapi jika diperhatikan dengan seksama hubungan antara makrifat dan cara memperolehnya, masih nampak ada kesulitan di sini untuk mengerti. Bentuk ibadah sekhusuk apa yang harus dilakukan untuk dapat mencapai kemakrifatan ini.Realita ibadah adalah ritual fisik sedangkan kemakrifatan yang dicapai adalah ruhaniah. Bagaimana ini terhubung?

Melihat pola hubungan ini saya hanya dapat sampai pada kesimpulan bahwa makrifat memang dapat dicapai dengan ritual-ritual fisik ibadah yang disertai cinta seperti yang ada pada tahapan sebelum tingkatan ini, yaitu cinta. Kesungguhan hati untuk mencari dilandasi cinta pada yang dicarinya pada akhirnya membuka pintu kearifan ini.

Keempat, jalan kebebasan. Jalan ini adalah tahapan para pencari sudah mampu menghilangkan nafsu untuk mendapatkan sesuatu dengan mudah atau dengan ikhtiar biasa. Dalam tingkatan ini kesibukan seorang pencari akan fokus pada hal-hal yang utama dan hakiki. Dia melihat segala seakan biasa, tanpa ada yang menakjubkan.

Keenam, jalan hayat atau ketakjuban. Dalam jalan ini sang pencari akan mengalami ketakjuban luar biasa karena semua menjadi serba terbalik. Siang jadi malam, malam jadi siang. Semuanya serba berubah. Dari hal ini saya mendapatkan sedikit gambaran tentang adanya perubahan-perubahan ini. perubahan-perubahan ini menurut saya merupakan tanda bahwa pengalaman-pengalaman fisis pada kita tidak mampu untuk bersinergi dengan ke-tetap-an yang akan diraih oleh seorang pencari pada jalan berikutnya. Siang menjadi malam dan malam menjadi siang menjadi semacam peringatan pada para pencari bahwa alam fisis itu tidak mampu mengadaptasikan dirinya pada kesempurnaan. Ketika sampai pada level ini pengalaman-pengalaman fisis tadi laksana lukisan yang disiram minyak, luntur dan tidak jelas lagi bentuknya.

Ketujuh, jalan faqir. Ketika sampai pada level ini, sang pencari akan menemukan dirinya secara utuh. Tanpa embel-embel apapun pada dirinya. Yang ditemukannya hanyalah dirinya dan hakikat dirinya. Setelah tahap inipun sang pencari akan menemukan simurgh yang tak lain adalah hakikat dirinya sendiri.

Melalui Musyawarah Burung ini, ‘Attar mengajarkan pada kita bagaimana menjadi seorang pencari sejati. Dan dia pernah membuktikannya.

Context Nothing in Kierkegaard's life (1813-1855) suggested he would enjoy posthumous fame. A peculiar man, often surly and unpleasant, possibly somewhat hunchbacked, Kierkegaard divided his time between wandering the streets of Copenhagen and writing his unusual philosophical books. He lived off a large inheritance from his father, he published his works at his own expense, and he wrote almost exclusively in Danish (his native language), attracting no readers of any significance outside his native land.
Though many of Kierkegaard's works were prepared as responses to popular ideas or influential writings in Denmark, few of his contemporaries appear to have taken his philosophy seriously. Towards the end of his life, a Copenhagen newspaper published a series of satirical cartoons about Kierkegaard that effectively reduced him to a local laughingstock.
Nevertheless, through a complex chain of events, Kierkegaard's works came to be read with interest by leading philosophers outside of Denmark early in the twentieth century. His fans came to include such notable figures as Wittgenstein, Heidegger, Kafka, Barth, Sartre, and Camus. These thinkers often interpreted Kierkegaard as a precedent for their own ideas--and therefore as an important step in the history of Western philosophy.
Within the context of the history of philosophy, Kierkegaard has generally been understood as a radical critic of Hegel. In brief, Hegel argued that we can obtain knowledge about religious and ethical truth through careful analysis of the historical process that created our ideas about religion and ethics. Kierkegaard argues instead that knowledge about the external world is always uncertain by comparison with our internal intuitions about God and morality. He urges us to pursue a private faith in God.
Ironically, while Kierkegaard's ideas have influenced twentieth-century theology, they have also been an important influence on thinkers who do not believe in God. For instance, "existentialist" philosophers like Sartre and Camus admire Kierkegaard's commitment to personal beliefs but reject his commitment to religion. (See the Overall Analysis and Themes for more on this and other interpretations of Kierkegaard.)
The Sickness Unto Death was published in 1849, just six years before Kierkegaard's death in 1855. It is one of Kierkegaard's last philosophical works, and it offers one of the clearest and most concise statements of his views on religious faith.
Some people, Kierkegaard tells us in the Preface, might expect books on religious matters to be serious and scholarly. Religious books should instead strive to engage the reader on a personal level. Religious writing, the Introduction explains, should adopt the manner of a physician at a sickbed. It should help people cure themselves of the "sickness unto death"--the fear that our lives will amount to a spiritual void rather than the eternal life that Christ promised.
Part I explains that "despair" is the "sickness unto death." Human beings are a "synthesis" of spiritual and physical elements, and despair is a misrelation between these elements. The solution to despair is a condition in which the individual has established a relationship with the "power that established it" (in other words, with God). People may appear to despair over facts of the world, but despair is in fact always an internal problem for which the individual is personally responsible.
Despair is universal. People may be in despair and not know it. People may despair through excessive imagination or through excessive concern about their material circumstances, through a sense of vast possibilities or a sense of lack of options. There is a hierarchy of forms of despair running from a weak desire not to be what one is to a "defiant" desire to be entirely self-sufficient.
Part II explains that, in Christian terms, despair is sin. Christ has revealed to us that faith is the solution to despair. Once we have received this revelation, it is a sin to neglect it and choose to remain in despair. Just as there is a hierarchy of forms of despair, so is there a hierarchy of forms of sin, ranging from indifference to a defiant refusal to accept religious truth. Sin may be intensified in complex psychological forms, such as despairing over sin (focusing obsessively on one's sinfulness), despairing over the forgiveness of sins (feeling that such forgiveness is not possible for one's sins), or, worst of all, despairing over Christ's teachings (dismissing Christianity as untruth)
Overall Analysis and Themes
As you try to make sense of "The Sickness Unto Death," it may be helpful to think back over the book using the final paragraph as a key. The final paragraph links together the concepts of despair, sin, and faith, noting that faith is the opposite of sin as well as the solution to despair.
Recall that Part I offered multiple definitions and examples of despair. All of the forms of despair involved a failure to be a human being in the fullest possible sense. Kierkegaard described despair as a sort of default condition in which people find themselves--whether they are aware of it or not--unless they take decisive action to eliminate all traces of despair.
As early as Part I.A.a., Kierkegaard indicated that the solution to despair would involve establishing a relationship with the "power" that established the individual human being--in other words, with God. By connecting us with the source of everything in the universe, such a relationship would presumably enable us to maximize our human potential.
It becomes clear in Part II that Kierkegaard understands Christianity to be the one religion that teaches us that we may have an individual relationship with God. The essence of Christianity is therefore to teach us the solution to despair.
Once this solution has been revealed to us, remaining in despair is not just a misfortune, it is a sin--a violation of God's command. Sin, Kierkegaard explains, is an intensification of despair, because it is a form of despair committed with the knowledge that solutions to despair exist.
Presumably, the point of The Sickness Unto Death is to encourage us to pursue faith. Yet you may feel that Kierkegaard has left us with more questions than answers. As Kierkegaard repeatedly stresses, his vision of Christian faith defies rational understanding. What does it mean to have an individual relationship with God? How would we know if we have such a relationship? Kierkegaard cannot answer these questions. He can only urge us to pursue them on our own through introspective reflection.
For many readers, Kierkegaard's message has been an inspiration to pursue deeper faith. Kierkegaard's works offer some of the most influential reflections on the role of religion in a modern world. Kierkegaard shows that the power of science as a tool for understanding and controlling our world does not necessarily eliminate the need for religion. Science can help us understand the world of things and facts, but it cannot provide guidance for matters of private conscience; it cannot tell us which moral or religious views are correct. This message has been a major inspiration and influence for twentieth- century theology.
In The Sickness Unto Death, Kierkegaard tells us that we are in despair, whether we know it or not. He tells us that we are failing to live up to our full human potential. He tells us that it is a sin to remain in this condition once we have heard Christ's teachings. But what if we don't feel that we are in despair? What if we don't feel that our lives are bad or sinful? If we are Christians, we may prefer some other interpretation of our religion over Kierkegaard's. If we are not Christians, we may feel that Kierkegaard's concepts of sin and despair are irrelevant to our world view. We may be happy with our lives as they are and feel no need to pursue Kierkegaardian faith.
Some atheist fans of Kierkegaard have responded to his work by trying to separate his philosophical message from his religious views. The twentieth- century "existentialist" philosophers Sartre and Camus are probably the most famous proponents of this view of Kierkegaard.
According to this non-religious interpretation, Kierkegaard's main message is that we cannot rely on other people or on the facts of the world to provide us with answers to the most basic moral and philosophical questions. We are the ones who will have to live with our personal decisions. We are the ones who will be accountable to our conscience for our moral choices. We should therefore act according to our own personal convictions; we should do what makes sense to us. Kierkegaard describes this sort of moral self-reliance in terms of pursuing an individual relationship with God. Yet it's difficult to see how such a relationship with God would differ in practice from a commitment to private conscience. Couldn't we just stand by the moral principles that make sense to us and leave God out of it?
As you can see, Kierkegaard's lively, unusual writing has provoked a wide range of responses and been summoned in support of widely divergent viewpoints. Hopefully, you too will find his writings a source of worthwhile reflections, whatever interpretation you choose to follow.
Preface
Kierkegaard apologizes that some readers may find his book "strange," since it appears to lack the seriousness one would presumably expect from a book on spiritual matters. However, it is in fact scholarly treatments that lack the appropriate manner. Whereas science and scholarship provide information about history and the world of objects and facts, "Christianity" is concerned with the spiritual well-being of individual human beings. Christian writing should therefore speak directly to the individual, even if this means adopting a less formal style.
Christian writing should adopt the manner of a "physician at a sickbed." "Despair" is the sickness in question, and the "cure" for despair is "to die unto the world"--that is, to adopt a spiritual outlook.
Commentary
The irony and sarcasm of the Preface is typical of Kierkegaard's writing style. Rather than make straightforward arguments in support of his position, he often proceeds by ridiculing opposing views. His main target is science and historical scholarship. Scholarly and scientific writing pompously claims to offer unambiguous, "objective" facts. In Kierkegaard's view, it misses the point, since the issues of greatest concern to living human beings are not facts about the external world; they are spiritual matters that people must deal with privately.
The Preface sets up the major theme of the book, "despair." Despair is the "sickness unto death" referred to in the title. The point of The Sickness Unto Death is to demonstrate that "faith" is the way to overcome despair. Just what Kierkegaard means by despair--and by faith--will become more clear as the book advances.
Note: In some translations, the Preface refers to "upbuilding" as the purpose of Christian writing. While "upbuilding" offers a literal translation of the Danish word Kierkegaard uses, this word could also be translated as "edifying." Kierkegaard's point is that Christian writing should contribute to spiritual development.

Part I.A.
A human being is "a self which relates itself to itself" and which has been "established by another." Two forms of despair are possible for such selves: despair not to will to be oneself, and despair to will to be oneself. The final paragraph of Part I.A.a. defines the condition of a self that is not in despair as a condition in which the self "in relating to itself and in willing to be itself" develops a "transparent" relationship with "the power that established it."
Part I.A.b. shows that despair is at once a distinction and a curse. Despair is a distinction because it is possible only for spiritual beings. It is not possible for animals (which do not have free spirits), nor for the non- Christians of the distant past (who were not aware of themselves as free spirits that could attain eternal life). Nevertheless, despair is a condition of awful unhappiness and frustration.
It is immensely difficult to overcome despair. Whereas physical sicknesses are caught at a discrete time and then endured, despair is a spiritual condition that one is continually catching unless one is continually rooting it out.
Part I.A.c. elaborates on the torments and complexities of despair. For Christian people, who are aware of eternal life, physical illness is not the "sickness unto death." The sickness unto death for them is worse. If Christian people do not attain eternal life, the alternative is a condition of eternal death--a condition in which one continues to exist even though one is dying or wants to die.
Part I.A.c. also offers two down-to-earth examples of despair. The first example is a person who wants to be Caesar but fails to accomplish this goal. This person appears to be despairing over something (over not being Caesar). In fact, however, he is despairing over himself: he wishes that he were something that he is not (Caesar), and he wishes that he were not himself (since he is not Caesar). The second example makes the same point. A girl whose lover has died or has betrayed her may appear to be despairing over the lover, but in fact she despairs over herself; she wishes that she were still her lover's beloved.
The final three paragraphs return to the point that despair is an eternal condition. Whereas physical illness ends in physical death, the spiritual sickness of despair torments the spirit without killing it.
Commentary
Kierkegaard's writing in this section may seem confusing and unclear. He never offers a straightforward definition of his key term, "despair." Instead, he provides a series of different comments and examples and leaves it up to the reader to make sense of what he is saying.
If you were to write something like this your professor would probably fail your paper. Experts on Kierkegaard, however, see this style as an integral part of Kierkegaard's philosophical message and have gone to great lengths to explain what it contributes to his philosophy.
The most common explanation of what Kierkegaard is up to is that, unlike the scientists and scholars he criticizes, Kierkegaard is not trying to communicate straightforward facts, but rather to provoke a new state of awareness in his readers. He therefore writes in an circuitous manner that is meant more to provoke reflection than to communicate clear ideas.
Some Kierkegaard experts have argued that the format of The Sickness Unto Death--its complex structure of parts and sections and subsections, its many definitions and categories--is meant to be an elaborate parody of Hegel and other philosophers who think that philosophy can use precise terms and concepts to develop a complete picture of the world. According to this interpretation, Kierkegaard's writing is meant to show us that rational analysis and interpretation can't always provide clear answers. Just as we can't develop a precise interpretation of what Kierkegaard is saying, so perhaps can we not develop a precise understanding of spiritual issues.
As you read, you should keep these interpretations in mind. Always pay attention to Kierkegaard's style and think about what it communicates to you. Does Kierkegaard seem to want to provoke reflection? Or does he have something specific to say? Is he poking fun at people who make intricate arguments? Or is he actually making an intricate argument?
To the extent that Kierkegaard does have something specific to say, Part I.A. appears to offer an account of what it means to be a human being, followed by an account of what he means by "despair."
In the first paragraph of Part I.A., Kierkegaard writes that human beings are a synthesis of the "infinite and finite," "temporal and eternal," and "freedom and necessity." Kierkegaard is arguing that human beings are both physical and spiritual. We live in a world of material things and physical forces, a world of causes and effects. Yet we also have a spiritual identity and feel as though we can make free choices. Thus we are both a physical body and a spiritual identity--and we are also the complex relationship between these two things. To paraphrase Kierkegaard, we are a relation (the relation of spirit and body) that relates itself (spirit/body) to itself (spirit/body).
's account of despair is based on this account of what a human being is. He argues that despair is a sort of imbalance or "misrelation" in the spirit/body relationship. He also suggests that despair is a sort of defiance in which a human being either doesn't want to be what it is, or wants to be something it is not. These two definitions may seem different, but they are related. According to Kierkegaard, a human being is a combination of spirit and body. Thus, if a human being doesn't want to be what it is, then it must want to neglect some aspect of its spirit/body relationship.
Parts I.A.b. and I.A.c. provide clarification of Kierkegaard's understanding of despair. (Further clarification will be provided in Part I.B. and I.C.) The discussion of the differences between physical sickness and despair in Part I.A.b. has two main points. First, human beings are responsible for their spiritual condition. They therefore have themselves to blame if they are in despair. Second, despair is immensely difficult to overcome, because it is a sort of default condition. Human beings are in despair unless they are constantly rooting out any hint of despair.
Part I.A.c. offers specific examples of what Kierkegaard means when he says that despair is an internal problem for which individuals themselves are responsible. Though the girl and the man who wants to be Caesar appear to be frustrated by the circumstances of their lives, they are in fact frustrated with themselves. The same can be said of the despairing Christians who were described in the Preface and Introduction. Their despair over the possibility of an eternal death is really a frustration with themselves--a frustration with their failure to attain eternal life.
Note the implication of these examples. Since despair, in all these cases, is an internal, personal problem, it is also something that individuals can correct. The girl cannot bring back her lover, but she can overcome her frustration with herself. Likewise, Christians cannot escape physical death, but they can avoid eternal death by having faith in Christ. Thus, as Kierkegaard argued in Part I.A.b., despair is ultimately a condition for which individuals have only themselves to blame.
To sum up what Kierkegaard has told us so far, despair is an internal, personal problem that involves neglecting some aspect of our physical or spiritual life. Individuals are themselves responsible if they are suffering from despair. Individuals can overcome despair, but doing so requires tremendous effort and commitment.

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